There is a saying that “Experience is the best teacher.” You may need to listen to advice from older couples. Their marriage has stood the test of time. Marriage is not always a bed of roses, it has its own ups and downs. Even the most admired couples may have issues to settle occasionally. What keeps them going is how they handle these issues. It is worthy to note that marriage is a complicated institution that requires extra care to handle. Taking quick negative decisions in your marriage can lead to regrets.
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No one knows it all. When you are faced with challenges in your marriage that you can’t reconcile, seek advice. Marriage sponsors, elders, or marriage counselors can help. One reason for the increasing rate of divorce in our society today is not addressing minor issues early. These minor issues escalate if not nipped in the bud. This is also a case of “much ado about nothing.” Even the Bible has its own principles about marriage which is highly beneficial to intending and already married couples. However, you have to understand that nothing is constant in life, not even love. Therefore, the love in a marriage needs to be nurtured for it to continue to flourish.
Here, we have the best marriage advice from couples who have been in their unions for long, say decades. As you know, there is no defined rules for marriage. So what you’re going to read are tips on things you can do to keep your home. Read the marriage advice for newlyweds. It also applies to old couples having crises. Those intending to marry can also benefit from these tips. This will help you have a happy marriage.
It is obvious that the most exceptional display of humility according to older couples are listed below:
- Admit that you’re wrong if need be. This is one of the greatest challenge with most people. If you do something that is not right, don’t find it difficult to own up to your mistakes. It does not make you less of a human being. Your partner is going to respect you more. This is one of the best ways to earn trust in your marriage/relationship. Set your ego aside. Be courageous and admit if you have erred. Then, follow the next step to earn trust back from your partner.
- Take full responsibility of the outcome of your mistake. Having admitted that you are wrong, the next thing you’re supposed to do is to take responsibility of the outcome. Don’t try to put the blame on anyone, it won’t solve the problem. You’re not infallible. It is normal and ok to make mistakes in marriages. But then you’re expected to take responsibilities of your actions once the happen.
- Make amend or let’s say try and fix it. You don’t allow your mess to go unfixed. That’s like having a crack on the wall and letting it be. You know, the crack can affect the foundation of the building and may eventually cause it to collapse.
As a woman, learn to be humble. It is one of the virtues of a good woman.
Marriage advice from the Bible
Let us take a look at what the bible says pertaining to marriage. The holy book also gave marriage advice to couples.
1.Love and Faithfulness
Proverb 3:3-4 advises, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you.” Bind them around your neck. Write them on the table of your heart. This version of the holy book is advising couples on the need to always love their spouse. Loving your partner without condition. Imagine how you love yourself, and what will happen when you treat your spouse with that same love. Develop love and let it be with you in your home. A home filled with love is peaceful, flourishes and welcoming at the same time. Both parties will always look forward to coming home. This is because the atmosphere is conducive.
Another attribute the Bible emphasized on is faithfulness. Being faithful to one another will prevent an intruder into your home. It will bring oneness, trust, and longevity of the union. Faithfulness in marriages is very important, we shall be talking more on it as we proceed.
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2. Be Devoted to one another
The book of Romans 12:40 says ” be Devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourself” . This bible passage as we can see discouraged selfishness. We should learn to put one another into consideration, in making plans and taking actions. Don’t do to your partner what you detest. Be considerate and affectionate in your dealings with one another.
Follow these marriages advice from the Bible, the will yield good fruits in your Union. Again let’s take a look at this portion that talks about being kind.
3. Be kind to one another and learn to forgive
The Bible, in Ephesians 4:32, advises us to “be kind to one another.” It encourages us to be tenderhearted. We should forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave us. Just like our Father forgives us, we should also forgive. Avoid saying never in your union. Don’t say over your dead body. Don’t be mean. Be kind in your approach and with words. Some people are not friendly with words, they can say things that will set the body and soul on fire. The Bible is telling you here to calm down, be kind to your spouse.
Another good advice we can learn from the above passage is forgiveness. A good number of people finds it difficult to forgive. They hold on so tight, refusing to let go. You’re not doing the best for you and your spouse. Learn to forgive even before your partner asks for forgiveness. You can work things out always if you have this open mind that is ready to let go.
Note: there is no long lasting relationship or marriage without forgiveness.
As much as we need to be forgiven, we have to also forgive. Avoid things that we create problems in our home. Forgiving is that ability to stop transferring our feelings about what has happened to our partner. It is letting go, without taking revenge. Relationships flourishes with daily efforts, and we must put in work on both sides
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From all indications, you can see the reasons for the increase in divorce cases these days. They are summarized by what we have here. Partners refuse to take accountability. They do not admit when they are wrong. They also have a defensive attitude and a wrong way of communication.
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Neither of these is easy. They are exceptionally humble actions. This is precisely why sincerely admitting our wrongs and forgiving their wrongs brings exceptional results to a marriage/relationship.
Some good Marriage advice from Older Couples
Build a high level of trust in your marriage. No relationship/Marriage stands the test of time without a great level of trust!
Don’t take your partner for granted, Make it a point to thank him/ her for what they do for you. Don’t see it as nothing !
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Complement each other, speak life into each other by your words. Be each other number one fan. Make it a habit to routinely check on each other. Go deeper than just random texting or calls. Pay enough attention to your partner, more importantly, are you telling them what you are seeing and feeling? Learn to talk things over rather than keeping grudges.
Have a conversation about the state of your relationship.
You might think that everything is going great. However, it’s still necessary to set aside time to talk to one another. This is important to maintain the relationship. This helps in evolving and growing together. You need to have these conversations to have goals and plans for your relationship or marriage. Working together on them as partners is only possible this way.
Understand that your partner is unique. No matter how much you love him/her, your partner is going to do things that annoy you. This will happen no matter how many times you tell them they annoy you.
Your goal shouldn’t be to recreate them or be a boss . If you are married or going into marriage because you thought you could “fix” her, you’re mistaken. This will create resentment. Fixing her is not possible, and this will lead to frustration. You are two separate people, with your own faults, raised differently. You can love each other deeply. At the same time, you can be annoyed by their actions at times. Recognizing this is crucial for maintaining a strong marriage or relationship. No one is perfect in and outside union. Your ability to keep make amendments easily will help to keep the boat sailing in your marriage. You’re not getting married to a saint. Know this and have peace.
Let’s take a look again at the summary of marriage advice from old couples;
- Be romantic
- Be there for each other
- lean on each other
- Don’t go to bed angry
- Have some personal time
- Trust your spouse wholeheartedly
- Have a sense of humor
- Encourage each other
- Clear and constant communication
- Respect each other.
- Forgive each other
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Note, you’re your partner’s strengths and weaknesses. You need each other for the relationship to last. Trust him, show love, be ready to forgive, exercise patience, openness and with prayers you shall overcome. If you have tried all these pieces of marriage advice from old couples and you are still having crises, then seek help. It’s important to consult with a professional. A marriage counselor can provide the necessary guidance. After that, you will know the next step to take. You deserve to be happy, keep having adventures while creating beautiful memories, we wish you the best in your union.
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